Of Course

You guys had to know that there was a post coming after reading my dramatic status updates right?? Haha. Well, I am now 11 days late and I went and got a blood test on Saturday to see what is going on. Am I pregnant? Am I not? What's up yo?? Well first of all, the chick that drew my blood. You suck! It STUNG the whole time! She had to fill 3 viles and I'm like, "Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up!" My whole arm hurt the rest of the day! I mean come on! And now I have a monster bruise on my arm! So pretty.

So, the blood tests were for my HCG levels, estrogen, progesterone, and vitamin d. Well, as most of you know my progesterone levels were super low last time, like a 4.5 so that meant I wasn't ovulating. Well, now my progesterone levels are normal but my estrogen is high! Oh, the joys of having endometriosis (which is cleared up, but I still get to have fun with the hormones part of it)! Leveling out hormones is a CONSTANT battle. But, what can you do? I've been wondering why I have been so bipolar this month. Seriously, I've had so much uncontrollable anger. Anything set me off and I felt out of control and I just wanted to punch holes in the walls haha. Estrogen makes you crazy and too much of it makes you extra "cray cray". So that is the mystery to Aunt Flow running late THIS month. Last month progesterone, this month estrogen. Come on! Let's get it right this month!! Shall we?? Breanna is getting more and more impatient. Well, as you can guess that means I am not preggo. Sad day. It wasn't too hard to hear though cause I sort of prepared myself. I took an HPT  a few days before the blood test and that test was negative. Of course there is always going to be a little bit of hope but, unfortunately, not happenin for us this month. And that's ok. It's getting easier and easier to accept I think. What has made it so hard for me I think is that I live in Utah. The state of Pregnant Women. Right?? It seems like everywhere I turn someone is pregnant or has a brand new baby. "Excuse me waiter, can I have what she's having please?" I need to dip my toes in the rivers of fertility that must be flowin somewhere. I just missed the memo!

It will happen for us. I know it will. Sometimes I do wonder am I ever going to experience pregnancy and birth and raising my own child? It seems so surreal to me. Like a dream that I'll never reach. But then I pray and I know it's coming. I have dreams about it all the time and they're awesome and scary! haha. So, just gotta keep truckin! I have a new Job at 24 Hour Fitness in the Kids Club! So, I'm excited about that! New adventures!

Thanks again for the prayers and support! Love you all!