Children are precious, treat them as such.

Yesterday was mine and my husbands 4 year anniversary! It was a wonderful day! We went to breakfast, walked around Temple Square and City Creek, and then went to dinner at Los Cucos. I will probably write another post about our anniversary another day. Right now I want to focus on children and their parents.

Emma was screaming because she needed to eat. We were on our way out and I stopped into the bathroom and put some warm water in a Mcdonalds cup because we left her bottle in the car. Dallas and I walked into an area where they have chairs so that people can wait while their friends or significant others relieve themselves and while we were turning the corner I could hear a mother yelling and a child crying. The first thing I saw was the child holding his mouth and the mothers hand hovering over his face as if she had just slapped him. Then she proceeded to yell into the mens bathroom at her other son, "DON'T YOU HIDE FROM ME! GET YOUR A** OUT HERE!" I was shocked that this woman was swearing at her child and had no shame in the fact that she was in a public place. I started to get angry. Her son finally came out of the bathroom, (most likely not even hiding, he probably just had to pee!) and she grabbed him by the arm and screamed, "DONT YOU DARE HIDE FROM ME YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SH*T). I stopped in my tracks and turned around. I was infuriated! How dare she call her precious little child that. How dare she swear at him! Dallas saw the look on my face and had to walk up to me, turn me around and walk me to the bathroom door. I was boiling. I quickly filled the cup and we were on our way. I saw that woman out in the food court with her 3 sons and I couldn't help but stare at her until we stepped onto the elevator. I have not gotten over that situation.

A couple of Sundays ago a little boy wanted to go to class and the mom clearly did not want to be at church anymore. She was trying to find any excuse to leave and he got up out of his seat in class and she went off! She took him into the foyer and started yelling at him and telling her husband he was a brat and being a jerk and that she was taking him home! I stared with my mouth open. One of these days I'm not going to be able to just sit there and watch these poor children endure this abuse. Yes, abuse. That is verbal abuse to your child and it is absolutely DISGUSTING!

I tried for a year to get pregnant. That's not very long but when you are yearning for a child it feels like a life time. And when you're doctors are telling you your hormones are jacked up you start to wonder if it's ever going to happen. That's why it makes me SO angry to see these women treating their precious gifts this way. They don't know how good they have it and how many women would kill to be in their shoes.

I have been a mom for only a short while so I'm sure people are thinking, "What does she know?" True, I don't know what it's like to be a mom to a toddler. I don't know how frustrating it can be. I do know that even though my daughter is only 8 months old I get frustrated. There are days that I feel like I could pull my hair out of my head and run out the door screaming. I also know I love my child unconditionally. I know that no matter how nuts she makes me I will NEVER swear at her or call her names. EVER. This is my promise to you and to her.  I understand how fragile a childs heart is. I understand that when you do those things in public you're not only making others feel extremely uncomfortable but you are embarrassing yourself and portraying yourself as an unfit parent. This woman could be a very kind person. For all I know she could be mother of the year. But the impression I got from her in that moment was that she was an immature woman, who hated being a mother, and probably does much worse to them in private if she has no shame in doing those things in public.

I've seen those kids that are unruly. They run around in stores or restaurants, they throw tantrums in the middle of the aisles if they don't get to get that toy or that box of fruit snacks. I've seen the parents looking completely flustered and exhausted in those moments but I've also seen them calmly take their child by the hand and quietly walk out of the store or restaurant or movie theater. These are teaching moments for your children. This age is when they are the most impressionable and if you're going to make a scene and yell and scream and swear and hit them then that means they think its ok to yell and scream and swear and hit. Do you want that? I know I sure as heck don't! Please don't even swear around your children. I cringe anytime someone drops the F bomb around my daughter. I know she doesn't understand it now but one day she will and I don't want her to come home one day and be like "Mommy, what does this (expletive word here) mean?", while I curl up and die on the floor. I want my children to be respectful and to learn in the RIGHT way that there are appropriate ways to act in public. I still remember when I was little that I was that annoying kid that would be like "Mom, can I have this? How about this?" And she would tell me no and I would throw a tantrum and get so mad. If it got really bad she would leave her cart of groceries and take me home. I would get so upset and feel so guilty that I cut my moms grocery trio short. I would be like mom we need to go get the food! And she said, "No, you don't act that way in a public place. So, I'm taking you home and when Dad gets there I will get them later." I learned very quickly after that not to act that way in public.

Parents, I beg of you, please be appropriate. I'm sure I will get some flack for this post but that's the risk you take when you post about something you really believe in. Granted, I was not there to witness what her kids were doing before she flew off the handle. But, there is NO reason why a parent should talk to their children that way or act like that in public.

I love my daughter more than anything and I hope to be the person that can contain myself when she acts like a hooligan in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store or hides in the bathroom at the mall. This woman definitely gave me the motivation to make 100% sure I never react that way to her or any other children I may have. Children are precious, tender hearted little souls. They are sensitive and have so much love to give. Please don't crush them. Don't call them names. Don't swear at them. Too many times I have seen mothers react this way and call their kids jerks, brats, and many unspeakable things. I can't handle it anymore and I hope this can be shared.  I know there will be days that you wish you could send them off to China. But just remember they also follow by example and if you are showing them that acting that way is ok then they will do the same things as you with even less of a filter.
 

2 comments:

Megan Clark said...

This was great girl. I loved it an see these parents all the time thank you for posting this it just might make a difference if one of those parents read this :)

awestfit said...

100% Agree! Great article, Breanna!