Hi, My name is Breanna and I text in my sleep.

Does anyone else have this problem?! I looked it up because I thought it was so weird but it's actually a real thing! People text in their sleep! I definitely do it! Just last night I said something completely off the wall to one of my friends and had a full on conversation with another. I guess it doesn't take a lot of brain power to text but I mean come on! It's embarrassing because then my friend will call me or come over and be like oh remember what I told you last night? Uhm, no-what are you talking about? Then I pick up my phone and I'm like WHAT?! I do not remember this at all! It's freaking weird! It cracks me up too. I remember one time in high school one of my really good guy friends called me at like 2 am (why so late? No, idea. Couldn't tell you how the conversation went to save my life) and I talked to him for like an hour. He came up to me at school the next day and was like thanks for talking to me last night I needed it! You were cracking me up! Uh, you're welcome?.........What are you talking about? He was like seriously? I told him I didn't remember a thing. WEIRD! Obviously I have a serious problem. I'm addicted to technology. I think I need a break from it because who knows what I'll say! I may share my deepest darkest secret with someone! Scary! haha.

Baby news you ask? None to report as of now. I mean I had some weird spotting (ew) on Sunday and I don't know what in the heck that was but, I guess we'll find out in a week. But, you know what? I can deal with whatever the outcome is. It's still hard but I'm done stressing myself out over it. My life kind of did a 180 this month. Things were going really well and now it's not going so well. I'm so stressed my temples feel like they're going to explode and my eye is twitching. Not fun. I look up sometimes and say, "Ok, what's the plan here? Cause I'm lost!" I got my answer the other day. "Disappointments are just God's way of saying, 'I've got something better', so be patient, have faith and live your life." Pinterest, you always know what to say. So smart. I always think of that now. Something will get thrown at me and I just want to scream and I literally have a couple of times and then that quote comes into my mind and I just breathe and move on and live my life.

I am grateful that I have a husband to lean on. He's my best friend, my rock, my everything and I'm so blessed. Our marriage is not perfect. Absolutely not. We work hard every day and just like with every marriage there are times when you just want to throw your hands up in the air. I married this man for eternity and I plan on keeping it that way. We made very serious and special covenants in the temple and I could not have pictured anyone else sitting across the alter from me than my sweetheart Dallas. I love him more than anything. He makes me better and hopefully I do that for him. We have so much fun together too. We joke around and play around. We have a blast. People who hang out with us said they just love watching us interact with each other and it makes me feel good to hear that. I'm glad that people can see that we're happy and in love. We are! We have gone through so many trials and have come out stronger than ever. I honestly believe that certain people could not have survived some of the things that we've been through. But we did and that makes me feel comforted. I married my soul mate. He is the love of my life. My true love. I remember growing up and crying over boys and dating and breaking up and thinking I will never be able to recover. So dramatic. My mother always told me, "You're going to look back on this and think wow, what a waste of time and tears." I don't regret those relationships. They helped mold me and make me a better person for my husband. But, it's true. If I would've known what was coming I wouldn't have worried so much and let my heart break. So, to the young girls out there that think that relationships in high school are important and that boys are everything now and that when they break your heart it's the end of the world. It's not. It gets better and you will find your prince.

Well, I of course have some inspirational quotes that I've come across and they've made my day so hopefully they can make yours too!

Soo....

I went to the Health Spot today to get the results for my progesterone and got some pretty depressing news. I'm not even ovulating. No wonder I haven't gotten pregnant. It's a common cause of infertility. INFERTILITY! UGGHHHH!!!!!!

Pam is going to try to help me start ovulating again. She's put me on medication and supplements to get my progesterone up. I'm hardly producing any of it.

HORMONES SUCK!

The fact that I was late on my period was a true blessing though. I know that's weird to think, but if I hadn't have been late I wouldn't have figured this out for a long time.

A few years ago I got a similar test saying I wasn't producing enough progesterone then. They put me on progesterone cream but I stopped taking it cause it was making me gain weight and because I didn't think it was a big deal. NO ONE TOLD ME THAT IT MEANT I WASN'T OVULATING!

Please, PLEASE send your prayers. I really need to start ovulating. I need to get pregnant. We need to have a baby.

I appreciate and love all of you.

My Body's Crazy!!!

This last week has been insane. It's been extremely frustrating and exhausting and I'm glad I got things figured out today. Let's start from the beginning. Normally about a week before Aunt Flow is supposed to arrive I start cramping but there was nothing. I thought that was odd, either I'm pregnant or the supplements are doing their job! My period was due May 1st. Well May 1st came and went and nothing. I took a pregnancy test and it was, no surprise, negative. I was a little bummed but I also thought maybe it was a false negative. So, I waited for a couple of days and my period still didn't come so I took another test and again negative. 2 more days another test another negative. I was getting really irritated! I kept thinking well if I'm not pregnant than where the heck is my period?! I called the Health Spot and Pam ordered me an HCG blood test and a progesterone test. I went in on Sunday ( I know it was the Sabbath, but I was 6 days late and going insane!) and got the blood test and asked when I could get the results and they told me to call in an hour. I was SO nervous. I called exactly at an hour and they told me my HCG quantitive was 1. I was like. "Ok? Does that mean I'm pregnant or not?" They told me that they don't test negative or positive, just the levels and that my doctor would tell me. I called Pam and told her what they said and she said "Oh, well I'll get your progesterone levels tomorrow and call you." WHAT?! Why isn't anyone telling me what that stupid test means?!  I had to freakin google it and found that if it's under 5 than it's negative. Wonderful, just wonderful. And then of course day 7, today, my period comes. UGH!!! I was so irritated! Last night I cried forever and then I was livid and then I cried some more. I told someone yesterday that I have been trying for 6 months and they made me feel horrible. Their response was, "Holy crap! That's a long time?" Is it though? Yes, it feels like FOREVER from my perspective but I mean come on there are people who didn't have kids til they tried for like 2 years or more. What I don't get is why am I not getting the magic baby dust that seems to be floating around Utah? Impregnating women at the drop of the hat? I go to church! I pay my tithing! I read my scriptures! I do my best to be a good wife to my husband! I work hard! I eat healthy! COME ON MOTHER NATURE! Be on MY side for once! You've already tortured me with these hellish periods that I've dealt with since I was 14!! Don't let me have suffered that long for no reason!! I'm so tired of this roller coaster. I don't want this to control my life.

And then I realized, control. I think that's the problem. This is beyond my control! This requires patience! Maybe, just maybe that's what the problem is! I am the most impatient person in the world. I also have to be in control of just about everything! And because I have to wait and I don't have control over getting pregnant it's making me crazy! Maybe that's what I need to learn. To let go and let God and to be patient. 

So, I've decided that I'm not going to focus on this anymore. I'm going to focus on the blessings. I have this time to be with my husband and for us to grow together. We have this time for him to focus on school and me to focus on work.  There is a very special spirit waiting to come down and we need to be the best parents we can be for him/her. I have this time to focus on getting better with my endometriosis and to getting my body healthy and in shape so that I can be strong enough to carry and care for our baby. We have this time to work on our finances, finish paying off our debts, pay for my husbands school, and save up our money so that we can give our baby whatever he/she needs to be happy and healthy. 

Patience. Faith. Letting Go. Seeing the positive. That's what I need to learn. 

I want to have a baby more than anything. I really do. But it's not on my time. It's on the Lord's. 

Thank you for the continued prayers and for your support. I love you all. You're amazing. 

This will happen for Dallas and I. I know it. I had this feeling last night that I really have nothing to worry about and I feel that, that peace came from your prayers and from my Husbands faith. Mine's not strong enough but his is and I'm so blessed to have him. He helps me improve myself every day. 

Here are some great quotes on Faith. They have helped me a lot so I thought I'd share! :)